It Is DONE!!!!

Hip Hip Hooray and a loud Huzzah for the SFD (or Shitty First Draft as Jessica Hart calls it) is finished!

I finished it this morning and it's currently sitting at 53, 236 words which I am quite please with.  I have enough surplus to form a nice buffer zone for editing purposes - enough to trim and then add more where it is needed.

I see a lot of that in my not too distant future - trimming and adding.

And while I have had a bit of time and distance from the beginning of the book that I could probably go back and start editing now, I am going to reward myself by doing a little more work on my Jane Austen single title.

Of course I let Sandy know I'd finished.  This is what she thought of my effort:

 Well, maybe not that great - but I appreciate the sentiment :)

When Your Writing Makes You Cry

I suppose there are two interpretations of that title - and I've been through both.

I've sat in front of my computer and wished that it were possible to tear computer screens into pieces because what I wrote was just that bad.  At those moments, I doubt my abilities the most.

I distinctly recall the look on one Aunt's face when I told her that I was going to be a writer.  She recoiled and I instantly wondered if I'd had one of those moments where you think "wouldn't it be funny to say: 'I'm going to be a hooker'" and instead of just thinking about it, you accidently say it.  Well I hadn't.  Not on that occasion anyway!  No she was just appalled that I wasn't intending on pursuing a 'real' job.  When I have bad writing blues, and think every word I have ever written is a smear on the literary world, I remember the look on her face and sometimes I think: "she was right".

Then I smack myself (sometimes it stings too) and play an inspiring song.  Beyonce's I Was Here does it for me every time.

But actually what I meant by the title of this post was that I have reached the end of my MS and the Hero is telling the Heroine about his childhood and why he is the way he is.  Now, I knew all this from the beginning when I worked out why he reacted to her and approached life the way he did.  But then I really got lost in what he was telling her and I was imagining this little boy and whammo! the tears started.

To be honest I felt a little silly.  It's like a singer buying their own CD and saying "Man this is the BEST song evah!" or an actor going to see their own movie and saying "I rock!"

Isn't it?

Perhaps now would be a good time to tell you that I also laugh at my own jokes.  One word: hopeless.

The Sexy Writer's Diet

Okay so Christmas........I don't know about your family but food is a very important part of, well actually, every single one of our gatherings.  There are always favourites that are requested (aka demanded) and new recipes to try out on unsuspecting willling consumers.  Anyway you look at it there is always lots of food.  And every year I say hello to a few kilos, they hang around for a few weeks months and I end up doing some dreadful things to my body in an attempt to get rid of them.

Stop reading now if you have a delicate stomach.

I diet.

And.

I exercise.

I know.  Hideous isn't it?  But the sad fact is that writing is a pretty stationary sort of job.  Yes, there are times when I leap passionately from my chair, gesticulating like some Italian on methamphetamines, swearing profusely (but always grammatically correct) at my characters, but mostly I just sit.  And because of my inactivity my extra ponderosity (oooh I just love that word) remains.  And I hate it.  I feel sluggish and frumpy and Not. Sexy.

It's hard to write sexy when you don't feel sexy.

So I decided to come up with The Sexy Writer's Diet.  Feel free to follow it (at your own risk).

Day 1: In order to cleanse your system of harmful toxins and other nasty stuff, you will drink nothing but cocktails, high in alcohol content.  For those who are cocktail intolerant *two handed face fan*, champagne is an acceptable substitute.

Warning: after the third (or perhaps if you are an experienced dieter, after the fourth) cocktail you may start to feel a little woozy.  This is normal and your wooziness should increase as the day progresses if you are dieting correctly.  During this phase, you should turn on your favourite music and after a few minutes of gettin' down wid your bad self, use the music to fuel an intense session of day dreaming.  As legibly as possible, write down your ideas - use pictures if you need to (cutting them out of magazines is not recommened as scissors are sharp!) - stick drawings will suffice.

Day 2: After such a physically gruelling day, you should rest as much as possible today.  Lie prone amongst as many cushions as you can pile on your bed - the silkier/satinier/sexier the better.  Be kind to your digestive system and only eat soft food today.  Suggestions include: cupcakes, brownies (but only those without nuts), cream buns, banoffee pie and mousse.  Read back through your notes and try and translate them. 

Warning: You may feel a surge of energy after you ingest the first few delectable delicacies - this is your body's way of telling you that it appreciates what you are doing for it.  Ten or so minutes later you may feel lethargic and tired - this is your body's way of telling you that it is worried you don't love it anymore.  Show your body how much you care and scoff another donut.

Day 3: By now you should have a good supply of ideas and you need to pick one or two to start on.  In order to fuel this intensively focussed activity you will need your brain to be alert and working at its optimum.  From when you wake until lunch time, only eat chocolate.  Pure chocolate.  Unpolluted by anything else.  No candy coatings.  No wafer biscuits.  No chewy caramel.  No whipped nougat.  Just chocolate.  It won't be easy, but you must be strong.

After lunchtime you will need to allow your overtaxed brain to relax.  Milkshakes and cookies ought to do the trick nicely.  Thickshakes are recommended for those who are feeling particularly brain strained - the act of sucking so hard that your cheeks meet inside your mouth has a proven meditative affect on the Squidgish Writermus - the part of the brain that governs writing books.

Day 4: In order to fire up the passions before tackling the serious business of writing, one looks to age old proven adages, specifically my all time fav: You are what you eat.  You wanna write hot, spicy, sexy stuff, then you gotta eat hot, spicy, sexy stuff.  So follow your own personal preferences for today: Mexican, Thai, Creole, Sichuan or Cajun - eat up.  And let the heat steam up the pages of your manuscript.

 

Day 5: There is both Yin and Yang present in this diet.  Therefore today will be the day to cool your overheated lil self.  Ice cream.  Frappes.  Ice chocolates and Ice Coffees.  Frozen yoghurt (if you must and only if nothing else is available).  In order to stave off those pesky headaches that plague those who indulge in cool consumables, it is important to balance your chilled intake with something a little sassy and offbeat.  Try dipping french fries in your soft serve ice cream, or pretzels into your Ice Chocolate.  Trust in the Zen of The Sexy Writer's Diet - today you will devise the most devious plot twists imaginable.

                 +
      
                 =


                  Zen


Day 6: Following our theory of ingestion parallels production today we are sassy, snappy and zippy.  Which equates to crunch.  Source crunchy food from wherever it lurks, leaving no supermarket unshopped.  Potato chips, M&Ms, cookies, sugar covered almonds are all acoustically suitable choices.

Warning: Crunchy food has a nasty habit of making one thirsty - stay hydrated by ensuring you have everything on hand to make a bucket sized daquiri.  Note: you may need to purchase a very long straw to reach the bottom of your bucket.   Please remember that Sexy Writers NEVER drink staight from the bucket - that's just tacky.

Day 7: Stay strong you are almost finished your goal of becoming A Sexy Writer.  Today your tansformation will be complete.  Your mind must be set free and this can only be accomplished if it is as light as air.  Today you will consume air infused food: popcorn, fairy floss (or cotton candy), champagne (yes it is a food), marshmallows, mousse, whipped cream, zabaione, angel food cake.  Your writing will escape the dark, dreariness that drags so many other writers down, miring their manuscripts in heavy, uninspiring prose; your work will lift the reader, spiritually and emotionally, to another plane of pleasure and enjoyment.

This diet is scientifically proven to improve your writing, your health and your Sexiness*

*Actually it probably wont.  But it sure would be fun huh?  

Just remember you are Sexy no matter what you eat or don't eat, what size you are, what you wear, or where you are.  Sexy is as Sexy does folks.  But if you have any tips on how to Sexify your writing and what works for you, or doesn't, feel free to submit them and we may include them in our next version of this diet.

Finding The Positive

One thing that strikes me as I read through both published and unpublished writer's blogs is that a lot of them are confessing to the same thing: they doubt themselves.

They doubt if they are any good at writing, they doubt if they are ever going to finish a manuscript, they doubt if they will ever get it published, that anyone will read it, that anyone will like it, that they will ever be able to write another book.....rinse and repeat.

It is a fear that I have felt myself - only not about my writing.  Now before you strain something from rolling your eyes so much, I don't have a big head (but then again, if I was egotistical, I would say that, wouldn't I?).  I'm not a literary giant or some genius, I just happen to think that writing is a talent I started with and by working hard, I have added skill to that talent and as a result, my writing is good.  Not great, and certainly not perfect and maybe not even publishable, but good nonetheless. 

It pains me to read blog posts from people I have been following for quite some time, who suffer from pangs of insecurity when I know that their writing is something that I would absolutely buy if it were on a book shelf. 

I think there is a social stigma that says if you admit publicily that you're good at something, then everyone is going to think you're arrogant or full of yourself.  In Australia we use the term "Tall Poppy Syndrome" whereby it's almost mandatory for the average Joe to deride or mock people who have acheived fame or fortune - thus bringing them back down to earth.  No one wants to be the recipient of that kind of attention or be labelled as big headed or snobbish so we undermine our skills and talents and make little of our achievements.  But of course that doesn't stop some people who believe that they were the true deservers of the "good luck" that smiled on another (even when that "good luck" is a result of years of hard work). 

As an example, I can recall a writing competition I entered a few years ago, and it turned out that one of the winners had self published or something before entering the competition.  Many people believed that this was in violation of the rules and even though the competition administrators ruled that it was in line with the T&Cs, several people were unconvinced.  Now instead of mentally shrugging their shoulders, looking at the writer's work and trying to see how it had nabbed the judges' attention (ie learning from her) they decided to post snide and hurtful (and in some cases, nasty) comments on a public forum.

I saw it as the literary equivalent of bullying - someone making themselves feel better by making someone else feel small.

It's just not cricket, people.

With that kind of reception waiting for you, it's no wonder some people are scared out of their bloomers at the idea of making their writing public.  They see it as an invitation for mockery, criticism and rejection.  I agree it's a pretty wild and yet somehow thrilling idea - kind of like the first time you have sex with someone.  You know they like you enough to go home with you (they buy your book) they like you enough to start removing clothes (they start reading) but the whole time, part of your brain is wondering "Are they turned off by my cellulite?  Do my wobbly bits freak them out? Are they wondering how to get the hell out of dodge right now?"  Well there's not much you can do about any of that except work out a bit more, diet and accept that you're never going to look like a broom handle (and frankly, who'd want to?)  From a writer's point of view, read more, write more, learn more, publish more and accept that you're not the next E.L James (and at the risk of repeating myself, who'd want to?)

My advice: find the positive.  It might be a self-help book, it might be joining a crit lit group that can ease you into accepting criticism and learning to shake off the nasty comments made by jealous bullies, it might be repeating positive affirmations: "I can do this.  I am a writer.  I will be published.  Gerard Butler will leave his Argentinian supermodel for me....."  ummmm, well maybe that one is just for....well let's just move on shall we?

There's lots of good advice out there in InternetWorld and urge you to seek it out and apply whatever appeals to you. 

But please, don't give up.  Somewhere out there, there is a person who is just waiting, even though they don't know it, to read your book.  It will change their world, or their mind, or their opinion, or the way they view something.  And if you don't write it, they will be left hanging. 

Don't let them down.  Don't let yourself down.  Now go and write!

Fifty Shades of Romance

I was reading an article recently, in which four intelligent, professional, respectable women were reviewing Fifty Shades of Grey.  Now I will be upfront and say I haven't read any of E.L James' books.  It's not because I'm a prude - well I am in some respects I suppose - but I have nothing against erotic literature.  I haven't read the book because everyone I've spoken to about it has panned it.  Sure, they say, there's lots of great sex scenes but the writing itself is apalling.  Even the old lady who works in the takeway at my local shopping centre said the writing was rubbish.  So I thought - why bother?

Now back to the reviewers - this is what caught my eye:

Journalist Miranda Devine said: "The kinky sex in Fifty Shades is just an alibi to make Mills & Boon acceptable.  After all, what modern babe worth her salt would admit to reading bodice rippers in which helpless damsels pine for brooding, wealthy, achingly handsome heroes to sweep them off their feet?  Yet reading E.L. James's erotic thriller gives you an excuse to indulge in romantic schmaltz.  It's the flip side of the old line that blokes only read Playboy for the articles.  Women might say they are only reading Fifty Shades for the sex, but what keeps them pages turning is the age-old narrative of male dominance that feminism  has rendered out of bounds.  Then there's the sex.  Lots of it."

Hmmmm where to start?

I'll follow Julie Andrew's advice a la Maria from Sound of Music and "start at the very beginning".

•  "Fifty Shades is just an alibi to make Mills & Boon acceptable."  Ummm.  No.  Acceptable to whom?  And just what is acceptable?  Tolstoy? Hemmingway?  And why are they, or others, more acceptable than romance?  Is it because the head is more valued than the heart?  That thinking is more acceptable than feeling?  Are women who read books that incite an emotional response worth less salt than their more "modern" sisters who immerse themselves in literature that only stimulates the brain (which I feel I need to point out, has been quoted as being the largest/powerful sex organ in the human body)?
• "what modern babe worth her salt would admit to reading bodice rippers in which helpless damsels pine for brooding, wealthy, achingly handsome heroes to sweep them off their feet?"  I think the interesting word in this question is 'admit'.  We know that the category romance industry is huge and has become so in response to the demands of the public.  But there remains this stigma attached to reading category - and that stigma, I think, draws heavily on stereotypes (the stereotyped writer and the stereotyped reader) neither of which are realities. And don't get me started on the whole 'helpless' cliche.  I'm afraid Ms Devine's comments only prove her ignorance of modern romances. The fact is, Ms Devine that plenty of modern babes dream of devastatingly handsome heroes who rescue them from the mundaneness or harsh reality of their everyday lives and whisk them away into some luxurious idyll where they are loved (both physically and emotionally) for who they really are.  Does a movie called Pretty Woman ring any bells?  Grossed over $463 million world wide and you can't tell me all of those people (be they male or female) went to see the movie just for the music, or the costumes or the setting design. 

I think it's sad that we live in a society where romance is deemed 'schmaltzy'.  To me, it's essential.  Like oxygen.  And if it's not in my life for real, then I'll take it anyway I can get it:

• at the movies,
• in a book, 
• vicariously through my girlfriends, or
• through my own imagination

Because you can NEVER have too much romance in your life.  If that makes me an unmodern babe, then so be it.  So if you're listening Gerard, I'm still available okay?

Is that a yes?

A New Year Of Committment

Well I told you I'd be back - I just didn't think it would take so long!

But life has a way of just throwing everything she has at you at the same time.  Who knew that Christmas happened at the same time EVERY year?!  In my looooong list of priorities, it was unfortunate that writing came in behind buying groceries, buying presents, turning groceries into food for LOTS of people, wrapping those presents and then turning up to pre- during- and post-Christmas gatherings and the less than pleasant task of cleaning up.

Fast forward to now and I have just managed to start writing again......

except.....

it's a different manuscript.

I know, I know.  I should be finishing the category romance manuscript seeings it's so close to being able to write The End but this other manuscript is my other love - Jane Austen.  It's not fan fiction because it's not about any of Jane's characters but Jane herself does get quite a few mentions.

If you haven't been watching them already - set yourself aside a few days - and start watching The Lizzie Bennet Diaries.  I say a few days - you could probably watch all the vlog episodes in a few hours but they're so addictive and you get so caught up in them and the actors are so good that you will have to watch most of them more than once.  And you HAVE to read the comments.  The vlog is a modern adaptation of Pride and Prejudice and it's brilliant.  I have to admit that it has shocked me that some people haven't read P&P but their comments are delicious in their ignorance of what's coming up next.  And even the people who are familiar with the plot are getting all squeally with excitement.

Which has made me realise just how important characters are.  I know Pride and Prejudic quite well.  I've read it many, many, many times.  I know the plot.  I know the characters.  Despite all of this, because of how the writers for this vlog have crafted the characters, I'm on the edge of my seat, twice a week waiting for the next episode.  I can't wait to see what happens next, even though I already know what's going to happen.

That's good writing.

I want to write like that.  It's the electronic version of a real page turner and it makes my insides all quivery just thinking about it.

Now let's talk about Commitment.  You'll note I've spelled it with a capital C.  That's because it's my word for the year.  I'm Committing to things this year and one of them is this blog.  I received quite a little shock when I realised that I've had this blog for two and a half years now and I really haven't had a blogging schedule to speak of, so this year, this is it.  I'm Committing to two posts a week.  I'm going to try new things like giveaways and competitions and stuff like that - try and get my readership up a little so when (not if - because I'm Committed) I'm published, I'll have a few lovely people on my side who might, if I beg nicely enough, buy my book.

I'm Committing to writing every day.  I'm Committed to submitting.  And because my single title isn't being submitted to a publishing house that accepts unsolicited manuscripts, I guess I had better Commit to finding an agent too. 

But before all of that -  I need to Commit to finishing the book.  Well books actually.  Welcome to my journey. 

By the end of the year, I may need to be Committed

Not Such A HEA

HEA.  Just in case you're a newbie romance writer/reader or you've stumbled on this blog by accident whilst looking for......well, whatever you were looking for:  HEA is an acronym for Happily Ever After.

Or, in my case, Hightened Ending Anxiety.

See I've reached the last chapter in my ms (that's manuscript not the trendy alternative to Miss or Mrs) and I can't come up with an appropriate ending.

I can think of lots of cheesy ones - and don't get me wrong I've read cheesy endings that were splendiferous and just SO appropriate that you couldn't really want for a different one - but none of those corny closures really fit.

My heroine is, well my Hero captures her quite well when he tells her that "a high-strung, hot blooded, thin-skinned cactus would be less prickly" than her.  So a trip down the aisle impersonated a meringue is just not right.

Now don't get me wrong - my heroine wants the Hero (and not just in a biblical sense - plus she's already had him like that).  No, she wants the whole shebang.  The white picket fence, 2.4 children and the dog but there are a few things she wants to do first.

Wait.

Holy Lightbulbs Batman, I think I've just had a breakthrough!

Okay, I'll be back.

Later.

After I've written my last chapter.

Probably to whine about rewriting and polishing etc.

Thank you for listening.






I may, or may not, be the kind of person who has to talk through, or in this case, write through my issues to be able to understand them better.  But hey, isn't that what a Blog is all about?!

What Was I Thinking?

There are times when it's so easy to get ahead of yourself.  I like to think of myself as the kind of gal who embraces whatever life throws at me.  Seeing opportunities instead of impediments and that kind of thing.  But there comes a time when you have to slow down and realise that saying no is actually the smart thing to do.

And so it goes with my entry to the SYTYCW competition.

I have enjoyed the rollercoaster ride of New Voices for the last few years and although I had (sensibly) decided not to enter, once I laid eyes on that website with its oh so tempting calendar, something inside started jumping up and down and squealing for all it was worth.  I find all writing competitions exciting and it was this overwhelming excitement that made me think entering was a good idea.

Damn you, excitement!

But I've had a few days to think about it and I have reverted to my original decision.  No comp for me this year.  I'm targetted slush piles instead.  So this will be me:

Meditating while I finish my ms and revise and edit and proof and polish.  And then when its ready, I'll unleash the squealing jumping fruitcake :)

In the meantime I will read all the entries and learn from them.  Good luck to all the entrants :)

OCD = Obsessive Competition Disorder

I said I wouldn't do it.

I hadn't planned on it. 

In fact I had planned NOT to do it.

But I just can't help myself.  And now I'm doing the mad rush to finish and polish my ms to submit for the So You Think You Can Write (SYTYCW) competition.

Hence my lack of posts.  Well it's not the only reason I haven't been posting.  I mean the mad passionate affair with Gerard Butler has taken up a little of my time but he's almost impossible to say no to.......... and then I woke up :)

I had a good heart to heart with Sandy and she slapped me around a bit and told me to go for it, so I am.  She's hard to argue with too, y'know.

Sandy mid-motivation speech

Wish me luck!

Chapter Interruptus

There I was, typing away happily, writing Chapter Six.  Which is a pretty important chapter because although my Hero and Heroine have managed to get all hot and steamy on a few occasions, Chapter Six is where it all happens.

You know?  It.  The "it".  Yes *whispers* sex.

And like I said before, I was on a roll.  Things were heating up very nicely and then WHAM, BAM, KAPOW.  It happened.

No, not that it.  A different it.  A bad it.

Chapter Interruptus.

No matter how hard I try, Life just refuses to be put on hold and quite frequently insists on pushing its way in on my writing time.  So I had to stop writing.  Mid bowm chicka bowm bowm and that kinda left me feeling a little disorientated.

But that's not the worst part.  The worst part is now I've tried three times to pick up from where I left off and ..........I can't.  Talk about performance anxiety.

My Hero and Heroine have been left in a position that I reckon would become physcially uncomfortable in about 5 mins and just plain awkward uncomfortable - on account of no one actually doing anything - in about 1.5 mins.  Think about it folks: things between you and your pelvic affiliate have progressed way past the slow waltz section of the mattress dance and *cue screeching brakes sound effect* someone yells "Freeze!"  How long do you think you could hold it?

Hmmm, that's what I thought too.

But I have been thinking about possible solutions:
1. Rewrite the whole scene.  Not really an option because I don't want my poor little brain to shift out of 'writing' mode into 'rewriting' mode.
2. Watching me some sexy movies.  Distinct possibility.  Please note: I said sexy not adult.
3. Listen to some sexy music.  Tried this a few times.  Mr Ne-Yo - ohmigoodnesslordyme.  Yes well it sort of worked except that I ended up thinking of a new story which I have sworn not to follow up until I have finished this one.  Actually make that two stories.  Bad Ne-Yo.  Bad.  Bad.  Bad.
4. Psych myself into it.  Also known as sucking it up and just doing it.  Think this is going to be my only real option.  If it sounds a little disjointed or not so sexy when I read it back, then I will do my best to smooth it all out and spice it up.

Dare I ask, what do you do when you get stuck writing mid Wild Thang?  While I wait for your sage advice, Sandy and I will listen to Ne-Yo.  Just a little bit.  Promise.

Ohmigoodnesslordyme indeed!

I'm A Plotter.....Aren't I?

I like to think of myself as semi-organised. 

I'm prepared for all eventualities at picnics.  I have back up plans for back up plans on holidays.  My kitchen is stocked with many and varied condiments, ingredients and enough cake tine/baking dishes to make Wilton's green with envy - all just in case I'm taken by the urge to cook 'something'.

I have always taken the same approach to writing.  I write out a brief synopsis of the story with all the major plot points and character names and then I expand on that to include all the little odd quirks that have come to me when I've been thinking about the story.  Then I sit down to write.

But this time, it was different.  I got the idea for the story but just a rough idea and instead of going through my normal process, I just started writing.  In part I'm blaming Jessica Hart (whose blog I just love) because she's published squillions of books but is so down to earth and I love how she refers to her first draft as the Shitty First Draft (SFD) and the second as the Shitty Second Draft (SSD).  The rest of the blame lies squarely on the head of Jackie Ashenden because after selling her first, second, third and fourth book in like 20 seconds, she has been encouraging me (yes, she does write her blog just for me) to be true to my own voice and writing for myself and not worrying about craft to the point where it stifles my voice.

So you see, it's not my fault at all!

With all that extremely good advice and permission to throw off the constraints of writing the perfect first draft, I may have gotten a little ahead of myself, and I just dove in.  I usually find that I can write the first three chapters without any problem, but then I start to get bogged down and by the time I reach chapter six, I'm happy to be lured off to a new project ...... *oooh look a new Hero*  I'm such a floozy.

But not with this ms.  I'm up to chapter six and it's just rolling along.  As I'm writing, what happens next just pops into my head and I end up doing my best stunned mullet impersonation and muttering: "why not?"  Miraculously, I haven't been bogged yet.  I mean I'm not kidding myself, it truly is a SFD (god bless you, Jessica). 

It remains to be seen if this process is going to work for me but I'm going with it.

My only problem is now when one of my blogger gurus ask me if I'm a plotter or a pantser, I have no idea what to reply.  A plottser?  A pantter?

Maybe I'll just reply:  I'm a SFDer and let it go at that.

So You Think You Can Write

I first started entering category romance competitions in 2009 (gah it seems so long ago but when you write it down it's like nothing!) with the I Heart Presents Competition.

Which then morphed into the New Voices Comp in 2010 and 2011.

To save you from scrolling through my archives: I didn't do so well.

Harlequin has another competition called So You Think You Can Write.  I believe it started in 2010.  I'm a little hazy on the rules for the last two years competition (mainly because I can't locate them anywhere on the net?) and this year's competition rules have yet to be posted so I can't comment on them either.  But here's what I do know:

• For this year's comp, you need to have a completed manuscript
• It starts in September this year (as opposed to Nov in the last two years) which is when New Voices started in 2011 and 2010
• To enter you need to submit a first chapter and a 100 word pitch.
• There will be an online vote (similar to New Voices) and 25 writers will be selected 
• There will be an additional 3 wildcard entries selected by Harlequin
• Those 28 writers will then need to submit their completed manuscripts
• 3 Finalists will be chosen by Harlequin and another online vote will be held and a winner announced

Here's what else I know:

• SERIOUSLY doubt I will be entering.

Why?  Because I doubt I will have a manuscript edited to the point where I would be happy to enter it into a competition of this scale.  Last year New Voices had 1084 entries of first chapters and I know lots of those who entered had only written that first chapter - waiting to see if they got anywhere before committing the time and energy to writing more of what could possibly be, a lost cause.  I took my sweet time in writing and then polishing to the point of wearing out a polishing rag and using a whole tin of Writer's Polish before I submitted to NV.  Not that it did me any good anyway.  But I'm not sure I have enough time to do the same for SYTYCW.

I will, however, be (hopefully) taking part in as many of the online conference events as I can.  These are immensely valuable and what's not to love about a conference you can attend in your pjs?

So in honor of the upcoming event and because I haven't treated y'all to a shoe experience in a LOOOO-OOOOONG while, here is what I will be sporting to the conference:

I'm too tall to do cute so I have to opt for stylish and Ugg boots just don't make the cut.  The rest of me might look like hell but my shoes will be heavenly.

Pride Goeth Before The Fall

Oh I was so cocky.  So proud of myself and I had to brag, didn't I?  I had to gloat and blow my own trumpet.  Well my friends, take heed.  For I have been struck low.  Brought down by a lurgy of abombinble sneezes, hideous coughing, incessant nose dribbling, and cursed fever with chills.

All in all, I'm a sick little bunny.

And while yesterday I was barely able to lift my head off the pillow, today I am feeling a little better, so I suppose it's not quite the end of the world.

However my word count has suffered.  I got nothing written yesterday and I did try today but it all came out in gibberish so I am giving it up as a bad cause and hoping that tomorrow I will be better enough that I can play catch up.  I'm not sure I'll be able to do 3000+ but if I do a bit over 1500 tomorrow and the same the day after I'll be back on track.

But look who I have to look after me

Is there anything that woman can't do?

Softly, Softly, Catchee Monkey

I'm a firm believer that getting quick wins on the board is a huge motivational force.

So here I am gloating that I have been able to stick to my goal of 1000+ words a day since Monday.  In the spirit of putting it all out there, I finished my post on Monday afternoon and thought to myself, I'll start that goal tomorrow but then I slapped myself around a bit (a strange habit I admit) and sternly said to myself: Self that is the Old Elissa talking, the New Elissa will start her goal TODAY!

And I did.

Despite my brain being three quarters fried from having to be so creative writing my blog post and it being late and me being in the middle of yet another fabulous Austen fan fiction novel as well as halfway through knitting a cardigan, I decided I would write my 1000+ words. right. then.

And what's more I have maintained my momentum.

Okay so it's cheating a little because it's the beginning of a book and that's the bit for me that always goes fast - it's the middle and the end that drag on for eternity - for me anyway!

But we'll keep slogging way, won't we Sandy?  Btw I've adopted Sandy as my silent sponsor through this process.  She's going to see me through it, right Sandy?  Because who's your new bestie?

That's right.  Me.

Right back atchya ;)

Goal, Motivation, Conflict

This is a writer's blog so I suppose you could be forgiven for thinking, with that title, this post is all about the GMC of my characters.  Sorry folks.  This is all about me.

Autumn Macarthur has been writing some really honest, gritty posts lately about her writing that have really resonated with me.  I first 'met' Autumn (or Jane) back in 2009 at my first Harlequin competition.  Back then it was the Presents competition (now it's called New Voices) and I noticed her comments in the chat room - along with another voice belonging to Ms Maisey Yates.  I started following both their blogs and to cut a long story short, learned heaps.

Of Autumn's recent blog posts the one that really struck a chord was this post about starting a new story and being committed to finishing it.  As I read, I found myself nodding and many times thinking "I do that, too!"

If you've ever done a Myers-Briggs, DISC or Blebin personality indicator type test, you'll understand when I say that I'm not a finisher.  I'm a starter.  And I'm not the only one.  According to lots of people, it's the creative person's disease.  New ideas or projects or storylines beckon and rather than asserting the will power to finish what we've started, we succumb to the siren song of something new.

So I decided to take a leaf out of Autumn's book (she's applying the rules of weight loss to the rules of writing), I'm going to apply the GMC process to myself - in the hope that once it's up there that I'll actually stick to it.

Just as an aside: if you're an agent or a publishing company and you're reading this and thinking to yourself: "ain't no way I'm signing up this loony chick who has as good as admitted she can't finish anything", you should also know that I have an amazing stubborn streak which I have learned to use for the forces of good and which I plan to apply from here on in with regard to my writing - just you watch and see!

Okay so first up is Goal.  What is my goal?  Now I'm tempted to answer: to be published but I think that's far too wishy washy and big picture.  I need to drill down to the nitty gritty, get serious about looking at steps involved in reaching the Ultimate Goal.  So let's itemise the Interim Goals:
1. Decide on one story idea for the project
2. Write a complete full first draft
3. Edit, proof and polish first draft
4. Submit

Sounds simple enought doesn't it?  But I tend to be lured away somewhere around step two.  I mean I have finished a few but I've been so overwhelmed by the idea of rewriting that those manuscripts are kicking their heels somewhere in cyberland.

The next part of the approach is: Motivation. Why do I want this goal? Obviously whatever I'm using to motivate myself at this point in time isn't working.

SCENE: On the Dr Phil talk show.
Me: Oh Dr Phil!  I need your help!  I can't finish my manuscripts!
Dr Phil: What are you using as motivation?
Me: Moti-what?  Oh! Wait!  Does chocolate count?
Dr Phil: I see.  Now let me ask you: how's that workin' for ya?

I think my Motivation is tied up with my Conflict.  Which is a good thing.  Motivation - why do I want to be published/finish a manuscript/submit?  Answer: writing is an essential part of my life, of who I am.  I dream story lines and plots.  I write dialogue while I'm doing housework.  I eavesdrop in public spaces to improve my characters.  I can't not write.  And (here's the embarassingly honest bit) I want to see my name on a book cover.  I want to tell people I'm a writer and be able to back that statement up with the name of my book and publisher and Amazon rating.  I want to have achieved something in the literary world - not on the scale of Jane Austen or Dickens (but if that happened that would be gushworthy amazing) but I want to accomplish a level of respectability for my writing.  Also I'm a tad competitive.

Which leaves us with Conflict.  What stands in my way?  Why can't I have what I want?  Answer: I guess I'm scared.  Scared that I'm not as talented as I'd like to think I am.  Scared of the rejection which I know is part of the business and which I try and fool myself into thinking won't hurt but each time I don't win a competition or even come close, does hurt.  Scared that if I do accomplish my goal, that people will read my work and ohmygoodnesswhatwilltheythink!!!!  What if they really don't like it and say something mean and then the people who took the chance on publishing me, start thinking the same way and I'm publically humiliated on an epic scale and Sandra Bullock won't want to be my bestie?  Okay that last bit was maybe a little over the top.  I mean why wouldn't Sandy want to be my BFF?

In a book, my character would have to undergo a fair amount of personal growth to overcome the Conflict, harness the correct Motivation and reach the Goal.  To overcome my Conflict, I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up.  My fears are probably the same as any sane, reasonable person, right?  I mean no one likes to be not liked do they?  And I do have some pretty fabulous people in my life who like me just fine.  I even know one or two online who have said some really lovely things about both me and my writing.  SOLUTION: Focus on the people who really matter.  Accept that not everyone will like me or my writing and that's fine.  Organise another girly night with Sandy to buck up my self-confidence.  Maybe she could bring along Keanu Reeves.  He would do a LOT for my self confidence.

Motivation - I'm going to try self imposed deadlines.  According to the movie Enid Blyton, she wrote 6000 words a day.  Jessica Hart has just set herself a new regime and is committed to writing 3000 words a day.  So I'm going to set myself a target of 1000+ a day.  Even if it's 1001.  Which means, in 60 days I should have a first draft.  It may be a little more than 60 days taking into account that my story may run more than 60K (I am prone to rattle on a little) which gives me a date of 20 August as a rough deadline.  I'll see how this tactic works before trying a reward system - I'm a sucker for rewarding myself even if it because I almost thought about achieving what I wanted to do.  So I guess that just means I suck huh?

I will report back here every few days or so on my progress.  I have my motivation for reaching Interim Goals 1 & 2. But I suspect I may have to pull out the big guns for 3 & 4.  I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Sandy, pour me another White Cosmo, I'm about to write a book!

Just so you know, she's laughing WITH me.  WITH me, people.  WITH me.

This Is Me: Being Creative

I've been reading lots of blogs and it seems my lack of blogging is not something unusual.  It would seem that this is the season for being MIB (no, not Men In Black - Missing In Blogdom).

Rather than regale y'all with tales of how pathetic I am in not being able to stick to my 'new' blogging schedule (even if it was because I was writing LOTS), I am, instead, going to do what I supposedly do best: be creative.

So here (a la David Letterman) are the Top 10 Reasons Why I Haven't Been Blogging:

10.  Took time off to choreograph Britney Spears' comeback tour;

9. Launched my own perfume/lingerie/make-up line;

8. Emergency shoe shopping with Lady Gaga;

7. Starred in a Bollywood musical;

6.  Filmed my own cooking show;

5.  Volunteered as George Clooney's voice coach for a role as an Aussie in an upcoming movie;

4.  Employed by Brangelina as their Wedding Coordinator (and due to the confidentiality agreement, that's all I can say.  Really.  Please don't ask for any more details);

3.  Hosted Intervention # 4,832 for Lindsay Lohan - she didn't turn up but then again she never does and it turned out to be quite a shindig anyway!

2.  Was Jessica Simpson's doula;

1.  Gerard Butler.  (I don't really need to say any more do I?)


Rest assured I have sent out a mass text to all my A-lister chums and let them know that I'm not available for anything more than a quick cuppa, a couple of texts or a brief skype because I really have to get back into blogging.

I'm sure they'll understand.

Except you, Gerard.  For you, I'm always available.

If You're Sexy And You Know It....

put your hands up in the air.

Or as Chris Brown sings it: put your handz up inda air.

Or maybe Pitbull (oh how his mother must just love hearing her boy being called that) advising: If you're sexy and you know it, clap your hands.

Akon must have liked it because he used the exact same line in one of his songs: If you're sexy and you know it, clap your hands

Or perhaps Jesse McCartney when he sang: you're sexy and you know it, know it.

And I can't leave out LMAO's: I'm sexy and I know it ....................................
(you know - going from second person singular to first person singular -  just to spice it up y'all)

As well as whoever else has decided recently that this line rocks and included it in their pop ballad because I'm sure I've missed a few.  Whatever.  I wanted to thank all of you.  Because now I can sashay into any nightclub, whisper a request in my friendly DJ's ear and instantly know who the sexy people are.

The ones with their hands up.

Obviously.

But what makes sexy?  I'm not sure if Mr Brown urged me to put my hands up if I knew I was sexy I would actually feel comfortable doing that.  Well not Mr Brown personally, because like I wouldn't even let him buy me a drink.  But that's not the point.  The point is: how do you know when you are sexy?  What's the criteria?

Is it:
a) someone (not drunk or under the influence of any substance that would impair their eyesight) has in the recent, or not so recent, past called you sexy?
b) when you look in the mirror the only adjective that could possible work is: sexy? 
c) you physically resemble a well-known, media certified sexy person ie you look like Megan Gale?
d) you are Megan Gale? or
e) you have that 'it' factor thing going on?

I like that old adage: Beauty is in the eyes of the beer-holder beholder.  And I kinda think that sexy falls into the same category.  You know, each to their own.  Personally, I find hairy men sexy as hell.  Not the scary kind of hairy like this:

That's just not right.

No I mean the sexy kind of hairy, like this:

And may I jsut add a few other names to the list:

• Ryan Reynolds
• Hugh Jackman
• Jude Law
• Armie Hammer

But I know not every woman shares my opinion (otherwise we wouldn't have seen a spate of gloriously hairy men shaving their chests......Reminder to self: google 'celebrity chest shaver' as a career).

So, if sexy is subjective, how do you write a sexy character that will appeal to a majority of readers?  Or is it enough to ensure that your character is found sexy by their patnering protagonist?

Whatever the answer, maybe next time I'm gettin' down with my bad self at 'the club' and Mr Brown encouarages the sexy people to reach for the sky - maybe I'll hedge my bets and just put one hand up.

Adaptations - Part I

With all the hoopla about The Hunger Games on just about everyone's blogs at the moment, I got to thinking about other books that had been adapted into films.

There are two camps: those who like adaptations and those who do not (and of course to make things even more confusing, those who do not do so because they either a) prefer the book or b) prefer the film).  Me?  I'm a take it as it comes sorta gal.  I've seen some film adaptations that left me feeling flat, some that made me want to go back and read the book again, and still others that made me promise myself I would always watch the film and not bother with the book again.

Want a great ice breaker/conversation starter?  Try these: "The original Star Wars films were much better than the second lot."  Not a science fiction fan?  Rouse a romance aficionado's passions by stating: "Keira Knightley was by far a much better Elizabeth Bennett than Jennifer Ehle."  Or you could try: "The Lord of the Rings films were much better than the books."  I'm sure you can think of many other book to film adaptations or even stage to screen adaptations that stir up vehement responses from friends or family.

But what I wonder is this: what about the films that were written first as a screenplay?  Does anyone know of films that have been adapted into books?  I know a few films that I would love to read as a book.  Amelie being the first that leaps to mind.  Or Sleepless In Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, Mrs Brown, As Good As It Gets, The Sixth Sense, Gosford Park, Pan's Labyrinth, even Knotting Hill - I'd be happy to sit down with a paperback copy of any of them.  But has it ever been done?  I found some evidence of TV series becoming novels but none of movies.

So what original screenplay would you like to transform into the written word?

Well Hello Groove Thang!

So I took my little ol' self off to the picture the-atre and saw myself a movie.  A movie that I was pretty sure I was going to enjoy because it had Ms Julia Roberts in it (which in itself is not a guarantee that it's going to be good - *cough*MonaLisaSmile*cough*) but this time she's in a romcom.  And I loves me a romcom.

Now Julia and I share a lot of things in common - one day I'll tell you all about it - but suffice to say when her jaw dropped when the lead male role swanned in sans shirt (thankyouverymuch), I was SOOOO there in the moment with her!

What movie?  What male lead, do I hear you eagerly whisper?  This one:

Playing the charming Prince Andrew Alcot in the movie Mirror, Mirror is Armie Hammer. Yes he is young.  Too young to even think about ....... well okay not too young to think about but I would definitely have to hand him back his hotel key (if you know what I mean). 

Some stats:
* he's 6 foot 5 inches tall.  For real.  198.5cm of manliness.
* he has a hairy chest and he's not afraid to use it.  In fact he actually refused to shave it for the movie and I, for one, am very grateful the young lad has principles.
* he has an incredibly deep voice.  You know the kind you can close your eyes and just listen to - for like, forever!
* he has sparkly blue eyes and perfect teeth and that mouth.......swoon!
* did I mention he's 6' 5"?  With a hairy chest?  And a deep voice?  Can anyone say perfect????

Any man who can look macho in a puffy-sleeved shirt, (as well as all the above positives) gets my vote of approval.  I know the movie has been panned by a lot of cynics critics, but honestly, I enjoyed it.  It's light hearted and cute and the colour is so unbelievably rich and gorgeous that you come out of the cinema thinking someone has tweaked the colour lever on real life - everything looks washed out until your poor brain adjusts.  And don't get me started on the costumes - I want every single one of Julia's gowns.  Of course I'd need a whole new wardrobe the size of my house to store them in, but hey: minor detail.

The movie did what I wanted it to: I emmerged, blinking rapidly, into the pallid real world with a big smile plastered on my face and my heart chock full of the kind of happiness only a fairy tale romcom can inspire.

It's amazing how the appearance of a Prince Shirtless Charming can help a gal get her groove thang back!

I'm Sorry, What Was Your Name?

A week ago I read an interesting post over on the Pink Heart Society's blog written by Scarlet Wilson (which by the way I think is a pretty awesome name for a heroine) entitled What's In A Name?

Which, as all good writing posts do, got me thinking. 

You see in the current WIP, my heroine goes by several different names.  Not versions of the same name eg Joanna is called Jo, Jody, Annie, Anna etc but by completely different names.  She's a girl with a bit of a coloured past and she has a very good reason for not wanting to use her real name.

Now Scarlet has explained in her article that some readers, won't like the name of your characters (reminds them of someone they don't like, sounds like someone they don't like, someone they don't like named their daughter that name etc).  And we all know that you can't please all the people all the time, but it did give me pause for thought.

But as I'm trying to be optomistic, I'm going to think about it this way: most heroines have one name and if your reader doesn't like that particular name, then you're sunk.  My way, if the reader doesn't like one of my heroine's names, chances are they might like at least one of the others more!

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort - Herm Albright